I GOT TOO HIGH PROBABLY
I LIE FLAT ON THE FLOOR SO WE CAN SEE EYE TO EYE AND SPEAK PROPERLY, MY CONFIDANT AND MY SOLACE IN MY TIME OF NEED
HE'S WIDE ASLEEP, YAWNING AS I SHAKE HIM AWAKE HE LOOKS ME IN THE EYE AND HE SAYS NOTHING
I'M DESPERATE
I TRY TO EXPRESS THIS AND I END UP ASKING HIM QUESTIONS
I SAY "HEY, WHAT GOES AROUND THE WORLD BUT STAYS IN THE CORNER?" AND I LAUGH
HE LOOKS AWAY AND OPENS HIS MOUTH BUT SAYS NOTHING
I CONTINUE
I EXPLAIN THAT IT'S A RIDDLE AND THAT THE ANSWER IS A STAMP
HE HAS NO REACTION
SO I CONTINUE
I EXPLAIN RIDDLES WITH JOKES AND JOKES WITH LAUGHTER
I MAKE UP NEW RIDDLES BUT I NEGLECT MAKING UP ANY ANSWERS
I TAKE THINGS FOR GRANTED
HE LOOKS INTERESTED
BUT I KNOW THAT HE ISN'T
WHETHER I'M HAPPY OR SAD HE DOESN'T KNOW THE DIFFERENCE
HE CAN'T TELL WHEN I SHOW THE SYMPTOMS OF MY INTERNAL SOLAR SYSTEMS YET HE SEES THROUGH THE SMOKE AND THE MIRRORS

HOPE AND FEAR ARE THE SAME EMOTION EXPRESSED IN DIFFERENT WAYS AND I STILL GO INTO SITUATIONS HOPING TO BE FEARLESS?

HE SAYS NOTHING
I CONTINUE
I SAY "YOU'RE LIKE ME, I GET YOU! YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING!"
SO HE SAYS NOTHING
I CONTINUE
I STUMBLE OVER SENTENCES NERVOUSLY EVEN THOUGH I KNOW THAT THERE'S NO REASON FOR ME TO DO IT ENDLESSLY I POP UP TO MY KNEES LOOKING DOWN TAPPING OUT RHYTHMS WITH MY FINGERS AGAINST MY THUMB BECAUSE I FEEL RESTLESS
I TELL HIM I WANNA END IT
I SAY THAT I'M SICK OF TRAVELING BETWEEN ROOMS TALKING TO STATUES THAT NEVER TALK BACK TO ME
MOVE AGAIN OR LOSE MY HEAD
I NEED TO INVESTIGATE WHO I AM

HE SAYS NOTHING
BUT I EXPECTED THAT
HE YAWNS AS HE STANDS AND HE WALKS PAST ME TO EAT
HE STOPS AND HE LOOKS BACK AT ME
HE LICKS HIS PAWS



WE FADE BACK FROM THE EDGE OF THE MAIN MAP
I'M DREAMING I WOKE UP FROM A GREAT NAP, BUT
REALLY I WOKE UP IN THE BASEMENT
THE CONCRETE NUMBED MY FACE
I'M WIDE AWAKE, SMOKING ON THE PORCH IN SEVEN MINUTES
PHONE LIGHTS UP LIKE A TORCH WITH SEVEN DIGITS
THE TYPE THAT YOU DON'T SAVE
AS IF YOU DON'T KNOW THE NAME ATTACHED
SHE ASKED IF I'D BE IN TOWN IN A COUPLE OF DAYS
I SAID I BEEN BACK FOR A MONTH, BUT OKAY, YEA
SHE SAID "SORRY,
YOU KNOW THE WAY THAT I AM"
I SAY "YEA"
SHE SAID "YOU ALREADY MADE PLANS?"
I TOLD HER "NAH,
I'M HERE FOR NO REASON LIKE BILL MURRAY IN SPACE JAM
PLAYING FOR THE TOON SQUAD TO SAVE THE PLANET, SO
YEA"
SHE SAID LOL AND ASKED ME WHY I'M PLAYIN
I SAID "DO YOU REMEMBER WHO YOU'RE TEXTING? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? WERE YOU TOO DRUNK TO DIFFERENTIATE BETWEEN THE J AND THE REST OF THOSE OTHER STUPID LETTERS NEAR IT? AIN'T YOU MEAN TO TEXT YOUR MAIN MAN?"
SHE AIN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO THAT
SO SHE SAYS "HAHA"
SENDS A PICTURE OF HER BEST FACE THAT'S SAD
CAPTIONED IT "I MISS YOU" AND I LAUGHED
SENT A PICTURE OF THE NIGHT SKY BACK TO HER LIKE "HEY, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT?"
SHE SAID "LOOK AT WHAT?"
I TOLD HER "COUNT THE STARS"
SHE SAID "THERE'S LIKE A HUNDRED OF EM SO THAT'S KINDA HARD
I SAID THERE'S ONE FOR EVERY TIME I'VE HEARD YOUR LINES BEFORE
AND I DON'T MIND AFFECTION BUT MY QUESTIONS WHAT YOU LYIN FOR?
SHE SENT ??? BACK
I SIGHED AND RESIGNED BACK TO MY REGULAR PATH, LIKE
NEVERMIND
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
SHE SAID "NOTHING, YOU WANNA HANG?"
I JUST SAID "YEA"